This is a metafictional description of a metaphorical tale about a metrosexual angel trying to stop a metaphysical apocalypse.
Gabriel is an iPod-totting archangel obsessed with crossword puzzles and human souls. God is the Creator of Everything who misquotes platitudes and who is set on destroying the world. You are a hot, large-breasted dear reader. Angels Don’t Cry is a sacrilegiously satirical short story about divine disappointment and angelic hope.